See ya Later!
(or how I believe goodbyes can lead to success)
❇️ However much I mentally try to prepare (Ready? Mind-Set-Go!), I never cease to be amazed as to how life plays out. Though it’s not easy (I’m not all that fond of surprises), it’s not a bad thing. Without life’s surprises, I would become a boring, predictable person and I don’t like to see myself that way. To each their own, so I’m not judging here, but that’s just not me, or, should I say, that’s not who I want to be. I don’t want to live my life in black and white, but in full color.
❇️ There was no article last week, and most of you might have gotten the why of it. We’re still busy with all the things entailed in last week’s event, but it’s all good and we’re getting there. Just let me tell you a little bit about it and how I thought we would be the first to make changes, but ended up being the ones ‘left behind’. (Just adding a touch of drama here, because I know you all love it as much as I do).
❇️ Now I don’t want to go into too much detail, since it’s not only our lives I am talking about, but that of our daughter, son-in-law and gorgeous grandson. They had been living with us for some time, due to circumstances, let’s just call them c*vid 🤐 Yep, that would sum it up nicely. However, they had been talking about going back to our son-in-law’s home country for some time, but again, due to circumstances this was not something they would/could, decide on yet. But circumstances have the – sometimes annoying – habit of changing…
❇️ And so it happened in a blink of an eye – or rather within a day – they made the final decision, packed up and left. We were all for that decision, had been from the start, but still, saying goodbye is never getting easier and though in my heart I knew this was for the best, it was also breaking a little bit. Emotions are what makes us human right?
❇️ You could call the day of their departure slightly chaotic, but also filled with hope for their future. Moving in itself can be stressful, moving to another country on a – seemingly – whim, is another animal altogether. Fortunately, not something we hadn’t dealt with before, although this time it wasn’t us leaving. A step like that can only be taken, when the mental positioning has been working for some time already and even then, it’s a pretty crazy thing to do, doesn’t matter which way you’re looking at it. Preparation time was up.
❇️ I know most people don’t live like this and when you’re reading this, I can almost hear you shaking your head and rolling your eyes in disbelief. That’s OK, just don’t hurt yourself. It’s again all about the choices we make in life, sorry for repeating myself. Sometimes it’s just ‘Now or Never’ for us and that moment had arrived for them. We know these moments will come, any day…Looking forward to the future, no one knows what it will bring, but some things can be anticipated, using our common sense. Well, trying to at least. Especially thinking about our kids future. Big jumps for sure and you do need a set of balls – excuse my French – because it won’t work otherwise.
❇️ Most people consider it common sense to NOT pack up and leave – to another country – in a day 😂, I get you. but we have to be ‘ brave enough to be bad at something new’. We can learn along the way and improve. When somebody tweeted ‘Age has nothing to do with wisdom’, I heartily agreed and replied: ‘True. Wisdom has everything to do with using your knowledge correctly’. So how wise is it to make such ‘rash’ decisions? How is that using knowledge the best way I know how?
❇️ Well I have to refer to what I believe in, or better yet, Whom I believe in: it’s not all about MY knowledge. I am aware there are enough people managing perfectly fine without it, but I wouldn’t even know how to anymore, in this stage of life. There are too many variables I cannot anticipate and I need to feel secure in my choices, even when all the odds are against me. And believe me when I say, there were a lot of odds against them leaving. I need to believe there is something, Someone, bigger than any circumstance – odds – that can come against me. What do you mean common sense?? How do I even find a balance?
❇️ How many times in life have you let your heart made a decision instead of your head? And if you have, were you happy or disappointed afterwards? There are no guarantees for me, but the peace I feel in my heart. That peace will tell me ‘everything will be alright’, even when things turn out to be totally different in the end. Sure there were ideas/plans for them, but who is to say they will all come true? Pursuing your happiness means taking risks and though we might smell the roses, we will surely feel the thorns also along the way. You take that set of balls and fight for what you believe should be yours, in faith. If I would lack faith – even in myself – what’s the use?
❇️ Most people will measure you by your ‘failures’ and if you happen to succeed – in their eyes! – they’ll make it look like you had it easy… you got to grow an attitude that will keep you from listening to what others say, unless it’s something useful. Most details about our life I don’t even want to share, not because I’m ashamed or anything, but because I know there will be those ready to give their – unwanted – opinion, without even knowing what they’re talking about. They merely wouldn’t choose so themselves and cannot imagine anybody else would be ‘so stupid’. Yeah, I lead a Stupid Wonderful Life 💖
❇️ So balance, between my heart and mind is ruled by the peace I either feel or miss. When there’s no peace, it means there is doubt and everybody agrees on the fact: ‘when there’s doubt, don’t do it’. Aah, but I already previously talked about the difference between having doubt in my mind, but still ‘knowing’ with my heart. O Dear. Can you spot the difference? I Can. When I’m saying that peace should rule, it’s my heart I’m talking about. Because, to be honest, my mind will never agree to anything beyond my comfort zone, which is getting me exactly nowhere in life and would make me overprotective of my kids. I’m guessing most ‘sane’ parents would not have let their children go like that. Am I making any sense to you at all?
❇️ If you feel I keep coming back to the same issues, you’re right! I don’t know anything about the standards/principles, by which you’re living your life, but mine/ours, will find its foundation in the choices we make and we choose to make them with God. Which might make them seem illogical maybe, BUT, coming back to believing in Someone Who is larger than circumstances, larger than life, choices are not made from a mere human point of view and the outcome is not something my human mind can always grasp. It’s not just MY knowledge, when I believe He’s leading me.
❇️ I love how many people can say afterwards: ‘Everything worked out for the best’, or: ‘ Everything happens for a reason’. Well, I BELIEVE that’s true. Believing as in, I am 💯 SURE, not just hoping and wishing, though there’s nothing wrong with that, it just might not be enough. I don’t know where their conviction is based on, other than it’s pretty easy to say something like that to anyone who has been through big changes afterwards, when things have finally settled down. Although I do think a lot of people have experienced something similar along the lines, I can be sure my faith will be producing the best results.
❇️ Changes can be scary because of the unsure outcome and it’s great to have something or someone, in life to hold on to. Like a safe place where I can hide when things get rough and seem to go all wrong. Read: When things are not going as planned, in a totally unexpected way. Can I offer you faith that is providing guarantees for success? Yes and No, sorry-not-sorry. Success is not always what you and I think it is. I might be disappointed at first, only to later realize, I got exactly what I wanted, but in a way that is covering more than I could ever imagine.
❇️ I can compare it to a previous example I gave about customers I helped in the shoe store I worked at: They came to me for help – yes these were expensive shoes – but some people would only consider it the correct help, if I sweet talked them into something they’d already put their minds and hearts on. If I would try and explain I might have something better fitting, they would not listen – their prerogative – and would sometimes complain I wasn’t helping them at all. Uhuh. What am I trying to say? (I love how I sometimes get so carried away while writing I want to say everything at once and end up making no sense).
❇️ Planning for success is all good and well, but are we SURE success is what we think it is? I am fairly sure you at least once in your life, experienced a different outcome which was so much better than you could have imagined, even if it didn’t look that way at first. Am I wrong 😅? I am not saying things could never play out the way we planned, because sometimes they do and that’s great, but believing makes for Bigger Plans and Better Results. Anyone who ever tried to complete a jigsaw puzzle, knows what it should look like in the end, but does it really matter how to get there? Well, if I’m smart I could take the shortest route, if only I figure out which one that is.
❇️ The difference between a jigsaw puzzle and my life is just this ‘tiny’ detail: I don’t really know what it should look like in the end do I? Sure I want happiness, which includes health, security, love, in short, all the good things in life, but do I have the correct image of it all? I don’t have to look very far to find a lot of stories about people pursuing what they think would bring their ultimate happiness, only to find out they missed quite a couple of important points along the way. It can happen if I am too fixated on how my life should be and I’m not open to eventual – though unexpected – upgrades. And yes I believe in life upgrades!
❇️ So when you reached your goal and harvested your success, was it all you ever dreamed of? I do hope so and am certainly not saying it can’t happen, I can only say that in my experience it doesn’t always work that way. Or should I say, it hardly ever works that way…there is no victory without struggle and the harder won, the more valuable it will be. And by harder I mean all the surprising twists and turns in my path, that I’m not prepared for and have to take by faith – or plainly faking it till I’m making it, still the best advice I ever got 😉. Unless I take the cowardly way out and drop the plans, if I even have that option, because in our life…not so much.
❇️ So guarantees for success: Yes! If you’re open to have that image of success in your mind altered to the best it can be. No! If you won’t be moved. Success should be something personal, not something that is described and imposed by other people’s rules. Something as being without a job can be looked upon as failure and though it sometimes actually is, I should not judge people because of it. And that’s just one thing out of a lot of circumstances we humans can consider to be ‘failing in life’.
❇️ Our kids are going through life searching for their personal success just like us, however small it might seem to anyone else. We trust their faith, paired with their common sense and zeal to turn their lives into something bright and encouraging, will lead their way. Their choices will define their path and might make us split ways, it happens, it’s life. Their first week has been tough but utterly blessed in ways we couldn’t anticipate, which is very encouraging indeed. They left to seek out a brighter future, but we only said goodbye to the old, to them it was: ‘See ya Later!’
Wishing y’all a Very Exciting Weekend & NO you’re not getting that recipe ❤